Recipe for the Elixir of Resilience During War: Advice from Psychotherapist Oleh Romanchuk
How can one remain psychologically resilient in wartime? Is there a quick recipe for resilience? How should we behave with children? We discussed these and other questions during a webinar with Oleh Romanchuk, a doctor, psychotherapist, psychiatrist, and the director of the Ukrainian Catholic University (UCU) Institute of Mental Health. The conversation was moderated by Andriy Rozhdestvensky, PhD, a lecturer at the UCU Business School and executive director of the UCU Leadership Center.
How are Ukrainians demonstrating psychological resilience now?
We are an incredible nation! In such a stressful, challenging, and shocking situation, we were able to stabilize and unite quickly, showing an indomitable spirit.
It’s understandable that war is stressful. We know from studies in other countries that war can increase the rates of certain mental disorders, but this doesn’t necessarily have to be the case if we maintain resilience. As a nation, we are now demonstrating incredible resilience, and the whole world is admiring us. If you throw a Christmas ornament and a tennis ball, resilience is what the tennis ball has. Ukrainians are like a very good tennis ball.
Is there a quick recipe for resilience that we can “prepare at home” without a doctor?
Some people think that resilience is a mysterious thing — that some are born with it and others are not. But it’s like muscles: we are all born with them, and when we use them and choose resilience in adversity, we respond to fear with courage, and to hate with love. It’s important not to succumb to despair, even when it hits us like a wave, but to rise and keep moving toward our values.
So, when we choose to respond to difficulties with resilience, we become resilient. At this moment, we need it for ourselves to maintain our mental health and strength, and we also need it collectively to endure and win this war.
In combat conditions, we don’t have time for cookbooks or multi-volume studies. We need a simple recipe for resilience, like a “Molotov cocktail.” And there are only three ingredients:
- The first is a sense of truth, value, and purpose — understanding what all this is for. Jung said: “If a person can give meaning to suffering, they can endure any suffering.” We saw this in the experience of our martyrs, such as Father Omelian Kovch and others. When we understand the “why,” we can endure a great deal. And now we often repeat this sense of truth: for the future, for freedom, for our children to live in a free country. The Cossacks used to say: “When you hear the truth within you, you are undefeated!” This is, in fact, the weapon our enemy does not possess. It’s the weapon that helps us win an unequal struggle. If we can break through the capsule of lies, it can become a healing elixir for a nation that has been deluded.
- The second is action in hope! Hope is something very important; it’s not pseudo-optimism. Hope is the willingness to move toward complete victory, and then to keep going further and further. It’s like a direction — there is no other path for us. We are not just sitting and waiting; we ask ourselves, “What is my place in the line?” For example, my 90-year-old grandmother — her place is to pray. Some work, some guard. Everyone has their place in the line. This is very important for victory, and it’s synergy. Our body is designed to experience stress. These are hormones that should mobilize the body for action. We need to direct this energy into productive action, setting daily tasks. It includes self-care, good sleep, and work aimed at recovery.
- The third is wise, bright thoughts. On the battlefield, we need short prayers, battle mantras, to remind our brain of its guideposts.
After mixing these three ingredients, you need to check how it tastes and adjust it. These are our emotions, which signal what state we are in. This cocktail of resilience should contain peace and the understanding that, in the end, Ukraine will prevail. There may be anxiety or sadness, but there should be no panic. This elixir must contain a lot of love. Anger is normal, it’s natural, it’s a Christian feeling, but when it turns into hatred, we become like our enemies.
The key principle — we create this elixir together, and we must drink it together. Because resilience is a collective phenomenon; we are all together, interconnected.
How should we be with children?
We cannot close our children’s eyes; they hear everything. They shouldn’t be left alone in this. For a child, the main thermostat of their safety is the presence of people they trust.
The most important thing is to be nearby. Understand that many things are learned through example. We transmit resilience by modeling it. How we act and what we say — we are the example. Children don’t need perfect examples. We are imperfect, but we are learning. It’s important to talk to them and listen to what worries them. Children need to understand why this is happening. It’s crucial for us to help them build an understanding. We don’t know when this will end, but we know for sure that it will end. Children should be engaged, effectively spending their time. Restoration is important (good sleep, walks, good stories).
Finally, Oleh Romanchuk summarized:
“We are in a significant moment of our history, the history of humanity. As a nation, you find yourselves at the crossroads of civilizations — a civilization of evil and a civilization of love. We are now on the frontlines of all humanity and history. Every generation had its challenges, and it’s important for us to go through ours with dignity. No matter how terrible the enemy is, only together, as a people of good, as one nation, must we endure this. Victory will surely come! I have no doubt. But victory will not be the end; it will be the beginning. And it’s important that we don’t lose this wisdom and unity, and that this becomes the beginning of another great story!”
Prepared by Olena Yankovska.
